What is independent play? And why do you need your child playing on your own? If you’re tired of having your child following you around all day or needing to be entertained in 5 minute intervals, or if you just want the best for your child’s brain and development – here’s all you need to know to get started with independent play!

What does independent play mean?

It may be hard to wrap your head around what independent play actually means, so let me paint you  picture –

While you are busy doing chores around the house, working, or reading – your child is in a safe, separate space from you, fully focused on an activity. 

This activity (of course) has NOTHING to do with screens – it might be a sensory activity or building blocks. They’re happy playing on their own, and they’re now following you around the house whining or clawing at your ankles. 

They’re simply spending time alone, learning new skills, and enjoying time happily on their own. 

Play time by age

Now that you can picture your child playing independently, this might raise the next question: for how long? And at what age should a child play independently?

I’ve made a little chart for you to see how long your child can be expected to play independently according to their age. This chart explains exactly how many minutes your child’s attention span is at each age.

That being said, I’ve helped parents with children as young as 14 months playing over 1 hour independently.  There are ways to extend these periods!

How to encourage independent play

So what is the best way to make this happen? How do you encourage independent play? Let me list the most important things for you to start TODAY to get your child playing happily on their own. 

Eliminate screen time

Independent play will be hard unless you remove your child’s screen time. This is because screentime raises your child’s standard for sensory input. 

As long as they have the iPad in their life, nothing else will be as interesting.

It will be nearly impossible to get your child focused on a simple activity, or get them to focus for a long period of time, as long as animations are in their life. It’s just too stimulating!

I bet even YOU struggle with being present in the moment, and might prefer scrolling to looking at the sky. I know I do!

…So why do we expect children to be able to switch between the two?

Ditch the screens before you do anything else. 

Introduce sensory play 

Once you’ve eliminated screen time, it’s time to introduce sensory play. Sensory activities allow children to explore and experiment – which are the two factors that determine your child’s intelligence and development. 

You need to treat your child like a little scientist (especially in the first 3 years of their life). Sensory play is the simplest way to do that! 

If you want FREE sensory activities sent straight to your inbox as a PDF, fill this out: 

Take their toys away

I know that sounds drastic, but offering your child too many toys kills their creativity.

In addition, toys condition your child’s brain to think about what they can do with the specific toy they have instead of working on problem-solving and imagination in ANY scenario. 

Is this kind of play healthy?

Why all this talk about independent play? Is independent play even healthy? As a matter of fact, it is! 

At this point, I want to point out that the Western world is heavily individualistic and focuses on independence.

Yet, in a strange way, this modern society has completely excluded children from taking part in family rituals, like chores and discussions. 

What I like to do is shift the way we perceive children.

Instead of entertaining them all day long in 5 minute intervals (as if we are some kind of party clown!), and at the same time excluding them from taking part in family chores or activities – I like to do the opposite. 

I encourage you to believe in your child’s autonomy, believe in their capabilities, and see them as a growing strong little individual instead of a baby that needs excessive support.

Get out of their way while they play, and let them explore and experiment so their brain can make neuron connections (and they can get smart!). 

At the same time, involve your child in household work, bring them with you while you run errands, and encourage them to greet the bus driver when they get on the bus and thank the baker when he hands you the bread. 

Treat your child as a capable person who has a real part in society. 

When children play independently, their brain literally grows and their development progresses. This is the healthiest thing we can offer our children!

Simultaneously, we don’t want them to get hyper-individualistic, so bring them along to as many things as you can and teach them to be part of society and how to be a good person. 

I don’t believe in overemphasizing independence, just emphasizing it where it is important and it benefits your child. Guess where that place is? Play! 

If you want independent play ideas in PDF form, download my FREE Sensory Play Guide below. 

Talk soon!

Artemis